Secrets Come to Light

Honesty is what everyone wants from people but it turns out to be the hardest thing for anyone to be, just open and honest; everyone has a secret they hide sometimes it’s small and harmless but sometimes it’s big and it could affect everyone who surrounds you. Most times we try to avoid these secrets we keep them as  if they were non existent but no matter how hard we try to hide them God will make sure our struggles come out to the light so that we deal with them once and for all. Nothing will be hidden forever that is the truth, the point is not to be ashamed of what you might be hiding but to understand that Jesus died for all of that already, therefore we are forgiven; once you truly get that;  you will be transformed and this secret you’ve been keeping will become a part of your past that has been washed away by the blood of Christ, then you’ll be able to truly move forward with your life, forgive yourself and create a space for a new possibility in your life, one where you don’t think less of yourself or find yourself struggling with confusion but one where you know your true one and only identity in Christ. 

Life Lesson

I had the most awesome revelation today! As I went through my day I was thinking that we all have special gifts such as listening, giving advice, helping others, and many others, and I realized that one of my gifts is that I give, most times I don’t think twice about buying someone something even though I barely know them, or giving someone money, not because I have a lot of money, or because I want to impress them or I want them to like me but just because is something that warms my heart, even when I am selfish and I have a small argument with my spirit because lets face it I am not perfect and sometimes I argue with my spirit about how I am not getting anything in return I end up giving anyway and then I feel happy because it is the gift that God has given me. I am a giver and not necessarily only with materials things, I like to motivate people, give them advice, help them out in general and even though sometimes people take advantage of me for it or take it for granted God revealed to me that I need to be thankful because maybe they might not give me something back in return but my Lord has already given me everything I need and he keeps giving me things every day and I am so undeserving, nothing I ever do will be as wonderful as what Jesus did for me at the cross and no matter what I do, when I come back to him he receives me with open arms and he keeps on giving even though I give nothing in return, yet sometimes I give but then complain because I didn’t get what I expected in return, sometimes when we give love or care we expect for that person to give it back but God sends someone else to provide that for us but we are too blind to see it because we are too busy complaining about how that person doesn’t care about us, doesn’t text us back or whatever nonsense so we decide to stop giving and close ourselves off and we go around being mad at people and they don’t even know why, but we pretend to be happy yet we’re alone and empty, surrounded by people who love us but we’ve created this idea that they don’t care only because a couple of people in our life didn’t give back; we’re blinded to see the thousands God is sending to return the favor. I include myself in all of this because I’ve done it too, I hated the fact that I was like this sometimes because it seemed like people just took  what they needed and left and then last weekend I received a beautiful gift from someone I didn’t expect to think of me other than when we are in the same place, and this moved me so much because on top of everything it was a book on how to praise the Lord and so I cried with tears of joy knowing that when I think no one cares about what I do for them, there is someone who is watching all the time and the Glory of me being a giving person all goes to Him because in my flesh I am selfish, so this humbled me and today I thought;  who am I to decide who is worthy or unworthy of my giving, I will keep giving to those who God puts in my life, after all I will take nothing to my grave, you want the world to change? Start with yourself, share whatever gift you have with others without expectations and make a difference in someone’s life, whatever you have to offer is important and vital otherwise you wouldn’t be here. 

Sleepless Nights, Deep Thoughts

I am on a journey, a journey of self-discovery; a journey of ups and downs where the downs can make you feel like you’re drowning and you’re so deep underwater that no one can ever save you and the ups feel so high that you feel like you’re flying like an eagle so free that nothing could ever bring you down. One day I am walking on water and the next on fire and the fire burns so deeply that my feet can’t almost take it but then again You’re always with me and there is no trial that I am not capable of surviving. I am on a journey of life where heartache burns so deeply in my chest that even though if you open me up you can not find it I can feel it, and some days the heartache is not as strong when my hopes and dreams over power it but when I am reminded of it I am reminded again that I am only human and I need You Christ to get through otherwise I will drown in it. I am on a journey of independence, freedom, self-love where the pain hurts but it causes joy because I can feel it as it shapes every part of me, who I thought I was and what I’ve become are two different people, I see in the mirror a confident, happy human being, a stranger who kept hidden under many shadows until the right moment where I was ready to embrace it. I am on a journey of self-sacrifice and surrender to I Am. Not knowing what the future looks like, the journey of surprise like the surprises I really like letting go of taking control and just letting things be and going through the doors that are being open for me by the one and only God. I am on a journey of loving You, falling deeply in love with You every day that goes by knowing that if I fall you’ll catch me, and I fall every day I fall, just when I think I can get back up on my own I am reminded of the heart ache and I seek You and you wipe away my tears and draw a smile on my face instead. You put me back together every time and in You I am complete. I am on a journey of honesty where I feel so exposed and vulnerable to the pain people might cause based on what they see but You are my identity and so all the worries of what they might think are gone. I am on a journey where I am fearless though fear is in the back of my mind it no longer takes control of my life. I am on a journey of growth, responsibility, acceptance,  loving with God’s infinite love and forgiveness. I am on a journey; God’s journey, one he put me on before I was even created where I get to ride the roller coaster and at the very end I get to rejoice and be thankful for the fun and joy of the ride, perhaps I am halfway or almost there but the end of the journey is not the main part, the main part is the journey itself, beginning, middle and end. We are all on our own journey, enjoy your journey, trust it, more importantly trust the Creator of you journey because he is perfect and when you’re done you’ll be who you were meant to be. 

What I thought Growing Up would be like Vs. Reality

When I was a kid I couldn’t wait to be a grown up, “I don’t want to be told what to do” I would say, “I want to have my own money so I can buy whatever I want”, ” I want to have a car so I can go to a lot of places”; as I got older going through middle school and high school things were pretty much the same, when I was 10 I couldn’t wait to be 13, when I was 13 I couldn’t wait to be 16, when I was 16, I couldn’t wait to be 18 and finally be independent, and finally when I turned 18 nothing seemed to have changed really but I was in for a treat; at the age of 19 I entered beauty school and from then on the fun was over, all of a sudden I began feeling like time was going by a bit too quick and I wanted it to stop! I missed going to high school and having nothing to worry about but homework and family issues; it was easier to deal with, but it still wasn’t too bad, at the time I got my first job as a cosmetologist at the age of 20 that’s when it began to hit me, I was making money yay! …And I had bills to pay with it, umm yay!…I guess, finally got a a car I share with my sister, I can drive places yay! I have to have gas and insurance money and the place I drive to the most is work…sure yay!!; I was always such in a rush to grow up and have all these new responsibilities that I forgot to enjoy every minute of my journey as a child and teenager, I just wanted to be independent and yet I still live at home; was it worth it in the end, all the waiting around for time to pass by watching TV? middle schoolers and high schoolers now see me as a grown up and yet I am in my early 20’s but there is no way they would hang out with me, if I would have enjoyed my childhood maybe I wouldn’t want to hang out with children once in a while in the first place. Point is I find myself waiting around for the future from time to time so I keep making the same mistake instead of enjoying where I am right now, I keep thinking there is something I will discover when I get older, so I take for granted what I have now. I know this is only the beginning and as I get older the more I have, the more responsibilities will come along with it so I will find myself never being happy with my present but always looking forward to my future. There is nothing sadder than a life you didn’t enjoy and it went right by you but the truth is it happens to most of us and when we look back we wish we could turn the clock back for just a little while at least; so why not enjoy it while it’s here; no year of your life will be repeated and every single year you live is important you can always have wonderful things happen day to day no matter where you are or what you’re doing, don’t let any second of your life pass you by because every second is valuable.

One More day of Life equals one Less Day of Life

From the minute we were born the clock of life started ticking, just as we have a date of being born we also have a date of death but it never crosses our minds, somehow we have forgotten that our physical bodies are not immortal and we live as though we had an eternity  on this Earth, so we stress too much with things that don’t matter and the only time it hits us that time indeed is running out is when we find out that a relative has a terminal disease or maybe not a relative but even yourself, and at that moment they or you make a choice; do I just give up on living since I am dying anyway or do I make the best out of this and live every minute of it and enjoy the company of friends, family and even go places I always wanted to go and many other things. What we don’t realize though is that we are all on the same path the only difference is this person is aware of it; some of us have already given up on life and some of us are living it like it was the last day every day because it might just be your last day on earth, every day we wake up is one less day which is getting us closer to our final rest, so stop walking around like your physical life is eternal for it is not just as the person who is aware that he/she is dying you are on your path to death and you need to make the most  out of your life, figure out what your purpose in life is, enjoy every minute of it, enjoy the beauty God has provided us with, the nature, family, friends, get to know yourself and stop wasting time; all of our days are counted we just don’t know the exact time we will be gone, but that is not the point, being afraid to die means you aren’t living life to the fullest because only when you know you are enjoying every minute of life on this earth and you have no regrets dying will be just the end to a beautiful journey on this earth and you will be too busy enjoying to even worry about the time when you are no longer here, don’t waste time being angry with someone or being stressed about work, what people do or don’t do, just live but truly live no matter where you are or what you’re doing enjoy it, because one more day of your life means one more day closer to the end of it.