As human beings it is in our sinful nature to have the perception that we deserve everything in life. We believe we deserve people to be there for us no matter how much we push them away; we deserve to be loved no matter what we do or say,no matter how much we hurt people, we deserve to be forgiven every single time, we shouldn’t approach anyone; they should approach me; so when people choose to back off or walk away after they get tired of this attitude we get offended, but we pretend not to care, as if we are more important than they are, “I’d rather be on my own anyway” , “who cares if anyone loves me, I love myself” we say; don’t get me wrong as children of God it is part of our purpose to do all these things with anyone because that is Christ’s love; He loved us so much He gave up His life for us; but not because we deserved it; or because we are such wonderful people, such helpful people, such worthy of all of this, we got these things only because of Grace and we give these things because of Grace (an unmerited, underserving gift), and yeah it doesn’t matter how the other person sees it; whether they think they deserve it, or we are just plain dumb or any of those things, we should still show the Agape Love which is Greek for unconditional, spiritual love, as the Father loves us; but I want to leave something clear; we don’t deserve any of this, we never did, we never will, so be grateful for the people that surround you and Love you with that unconditional love, because they are obedient to the word of God because if it was up to them with the Fileos Love (Greek for Conditional Love, affection, appreciation) with which we are born and we have made into transactional love because of sin; we would have given up a long time ago, and maybe “who cares anyway” right? but you do care, we all do, we were put into this world surrounded by many other people and we all want to feel cared for and loved, we were meant to have relationships with others and not loose ourselves in our own little Me world, because that is how we end up alone, this defense mechanism only works for so long, one day you wake up and you realize, “wow I loved that person and they cared and loved me back” (friends, siblings, parents, husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend) but I messed up the relationship because of my own selfishness, fear of not being loved no matter what mistakes I might have made in the past, pretending to always be okay and like I have it all under control, pretending to be happy just the way I was, fear of being transparent and vulnerable and we realize it could have been so easy but we made it so complicated; sometimes we try to blame them for everything because it makes us feel better, but nope we are responsible. 1st Corinthians 15:10.
Month: August 2015
Freedom vs. Debauchery
The difference between Freedom and Debauchery is big, for us children of God when we hear that Jesus Christ died for us so we could be free; we confuse these two and make it our excuse to do the things that don’t look good in the eyes of God; now being clear because you do these things doesn’t mean that you lose your salvation; but God’s word doesn’t contradict itself; there are consequences, Hebrews 10:16 makes us responsible because it states that now the law is written in out hearts, so even though there is a new covenant because of what Jesus did we don’t do whatever we want, because God deposited his Holy Spirit in us to guide us so we may behave according to his word 1st Corinthians 2:12, now obviously we aren’t perfect and we will make mistakes because the only perfect one is Christ but every time we so something that goes against the law of God the Holy Spirit lets you know so you won’t do it again and it will keep reminding you and God will place you in situations where you will be confronted with your struggles; not so that you may give in to the sinful desires of your flesh but so that you “pass the test” and become strenghtened in the word of God, so yes we have freedom a state of being free of the control of something or someone, we begin to make certain choices because we want to and not because we have to, we can speak freely and transparently to people, we aren’t afraid of what people might think of who we are because we understand each others weakness and we edify one another with the true Word of God but we don’t practice debauchery excessive indulgence in sensual pleasure, corruption, degeneracy, depravity; Ephesians 5:18, Galatians 5:19-21, Romans 1:26-27, Ephesians 5:1-33. Remember God loves the sinner but not the sin, so we best believe that if we are not giving good testimony, there will be consequences, it is all part of cause and effect to every action there is a reaction.
Do you Regret it?
Sometimes in life we do things where we mean well but we don’t realize we are hurting the people that surround us or the people that God has provided for us to protect, instruct, guide, shape, motivate, love; in the name of love we tend to overprotect and attach ourselves to these people, we make them our happiness and we don’t realize that in the long run when they get older they will be guarded, afraid, dependent, amongst many other things but the problem doesn’t lie there it lays in the fact that the minute they catch a glimpse of what they perceive as freedom we lose them to it, we won’t always be in control of them so we can’t expect them not to meet that one person that paints a picture of what life could be if they thought outside the box, and even though that person also means well they don’t understand that when you break the box this person has been in for a long time you might hurt them because they will get overwhelmed with all the “amazing things ” they’ve supposedly missed out on and they will pick the path of rebellion, if God has a purpose with them no worries because He will clean up the mess and get them back on track eventually but if they don’t know God you will lose them forever because no one has the strenght or the power to get out of the situation they will be getting into unless they have God leading their lives, so be careful how you raise your child, they deserve to know what is out there and what they will encounter so that they might know how to fight the wrongs and choose the rights, if they grow up with nothing but rules and no reason behind those they will eventually notice that those rules came from your own fears, the biggest one of them all, the fear to lose them and by this point when they realize it they will be angry at you for not letting them have the “freedom” they always wanted so they will begin to confuse freedom with many, many things, things that lead to a road of unhapinness and emptiness.
Forever and Always
As the night gently covers the skies like a soft blanket announcing that the end of yet another day is approaching; I wonder, why does my heart still cry out for you? What is the purpose of this? You see I been trying to make myself believe that I got it under control; that each day that passes by your face becomes nothing but a faded memory in the back of my mind but the more I live in denial; the more the memory of you screams from the back of my brain, from inside that box where I hid it and locked it pretending to throw away the key, but really keeping it in a safe place, because I’ve never felt this way before. The irony of this feeling that used to bring so much happiness and so much to look forward to now brings sadness and statements of should’ve, would’ve and what if’s? That don’t exist in reality; but my heart waits for… not sure what for? Once again yet another day passes and you’d think I’d take a break from the thought of you in my sleep but even then you show up every now and then painting a picture of a beautiful fantasy, oh if I could sleep a little longer, night will you cover the skies just a little longer before reality hits. The sun rises and it’s warmth sneaks in through my window slowly caressing my face announcing that it is time to wake; when my eyelids open; I see your image once again and on and on it goes, not sure why, it has never happened to me before, in the past waking up to the thought of you would have caused me joy, but now it causes fear, the fear that I will keep loving you just as much as I did before forever and always.
Lessons Learned
The Process to Self-Discovery is long and painful, some days you feel so good it feels as though you almost got it and others you feel so down you feel stuck and as if though you’re drowning; both of these serve a purpose; the good days are to enjoy and get a break from the tough days when you feel like everything is going wrong, the hard days teach you a very important lesson at the end of the day, God is the only one in control; just because you have knowledge and a deeper relationship with Him it doesn’t mean there won’t be days when you feel like He isn’t around and right when you’re about to fall He picks you right back up and soothes your soul, these days are reminders that it is only thanks to His Grace that we have everything and that when it seems like there is no way out; He is the way out. So don’t resent the bad days for they are lessons learned, part of the life we live, part of our walk, what makes us strong, it is in our weakness that the Lord becomes our strenght.
Bare and Exposed
There are days when I feel so exhausted that it’s overwhelming and noy physically exactly but mentally, the worry, the stress, the environment gets the best of me, it’s like being underwater inside a box and not being able to get even just a tiny bit of a breather, I sink, I stumble, I cry, and it lasts for a while; sometimes a whole day, sometimes a few hours and as much as I try to change my thoughts I can’t see the light and I wonder if it will all be over soon, while all this goes on I am aware that you Lord allow this for a purpose; you show me I can’t do it on my own and I am nowhere near ready to be done with this situation, I have so much more to learn; so I get discouraged and I cry some more and whether it takes a day or a few hours; later you show me through a conversation or a thought that it is okay, that I will be fine, and fill me with your strenght all over again, you change my thoughts and bring peace to my heart once again and I learn to trust You even more. It will all be over soon You say, don’t worry I Am still here, always.
theprocesstoanewbeginning 